Tangents Stories

Scoutmaster says local man worst troop leader prospect ever

Mark D’Eredita, scoutmaster for Boy Scout Troop 85 in Washington, DC, confided in friends last week that he recently met the worst applicant for Scoutmaster that he’d ever met. “This guy came up to me at the jamborree. Said his name was Domlad Trump, but he said it like I’m supposed to know who he is. He said that he was born to be a leader of the Boy Scouts, but he spent the whole time cursing, making rude comments about other people and twtiching like he was high on something. I wouldn't let

Local church volunteers full of everything but Jesus

Volunteers were full of themselves at a social event they put together last weekend, somehow thinking that their piousness will bring them closer to God. Members of the Levitation Ministry sponsored a special event with members of a support group for handicapped people, treating the handicapped and their families lots of snarkiness and generally telegraphing that they really didn’t want them to be there, no matter how big their fake smiles were. In the center of the rec hall, the guests happily

South Carolina hires Bonnie Tyler as August total eclipse spokesperson

The state of South Carolina, preparing for the total solar eclpise that will happen on August 21, announced that they have hired pop singer Bonnie Tyler as spokesperson for the upcoming event. “We couldn’t be happier to have Ms. Tyler working with us,” said South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster. “We were surprised that she was available to work with us, but she said that she had been lonely and that no one had been coming ‘round.” Miss Tyler, who arrived at the press conference complete with